Seven Little Known Facts

I’ve been told by those in much higher places that I should post a few little known facts that readers may find of interest. Here goes:

1. I’m very nearsighted and have been since the age of thirteen.

2. Although I’m vain and don’t like to wear glasses, the mere thought of lasers, shiny tools, and suction rings conjures up visions of being strapped to a table and writhing under a blinding light while unseen voices whisper about me. Hence my myopic vision continues. I alternate between glasses, contacts and viewing the world through a lens that appears to have been coated in Vaseline. That’s good for people around me, as physical flaws are nonexistent.

3. I have an uncanny ability of killing off houseplants. I haven’t figured out whether it’s homicide or suicide – I have a knack for subjecting them to stressful situations.

4. I’m devoted to nursing plants back to health that I’ve almost killed. Here are pictures of one prime example:

Take note, the above shots are not a re-enactment. Those are my real plants.

5. I’m an avid library volunteer and I’ve been carrying a torch for the library since I could read.

6. Although I disavow big city life and its sometimes intellectually undernourished, I visit the city often. But I make contemptuous remarks upon exiting.

7. I am a procrastinator. But I have a good reason for being one: I work best under pressure.

There you have it! Seven little known facts that probably should remain just that: little known.

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