When life throws you lemons, write about it! It’s a wonderful way to diffuse unpleasant situations by twisting them around in any way you please. This is one of the many perks of being a writer. I did a little twisting in my novel to let off steam and to have fun. I figured if I was having fun, so would my readers.

One example: Those of you who’ve read my light-hearted mystery may recall a scene where heroine Corrie is stuck in an empty building with one of her bosses. This boss has somewhat amorous intentions, and maybe more (by “more” I mean, homicidal intentions). The boss gets too close for comfort to Corrie when he stands behind her and buries his nose in her hair because “her hair smells good.” She replies, “So does hot chocolate, but you don’t take a nosedive into that, do you?”

The Reality: This too close for comfort scenario sprang from my standing in line in a small grocery store. A man stood so close in line behind me, he practically buried his chin in my hair. I’m a girl who likes my space. A lot. No one should come within a foot or so without an invite. I turned around, leaned back, and gave him a meaningful look. A look that I’ve honed over time for just such situations. A look that comes from living in SoCal for too long around too many who feel the need to get personal for no apparent reason. The fellow behind me smiled and continued his close-up. So what to do?

I put my hands on my hips jutting my elbows outward and staved him off while finishing up my purchase. Then I went home and wrote about it. What kind of writers would we be if we didn’t take something from our everyday experiences to insert into a piece of writing? Our imaginations can go hog wild when confronted with reality. It’s fun, therapeutic, and ensures we maintain our happiness by polishing up our sense of humor. A sense of humor is the antidote to unpleasant situations. I won’t write without it.

These days, I really enjoy the lighter side of life. Comedy movies, comic books, light-hearted material, and positive reads of all kinds. I even like cheery colors in my wardrobe. But it wasn’t all that long ago when I wrote darker and angrier. The need to get stuff off my chest dominated my pen (or more like my keyboard). I wrote a blog under a pen name about managing encounters with difficult people because I was at the point in my life where I’d had enough of the disruptive and unkind. I needed to find ways to manage these situations while keeping my peace of mind. Not easy to do in the legal profession, or as a parent (and child advocate) or even as an everyday citizen.

So I wrote about unpleasantness encountered on the road, at the grocery store, at the bank, on the phone and anywhere else where run-ins with the rude and mean occurred. I also included ways to battle and diffuse unpleasantries in life. Mostly for my own sake and hopefully the sake of my readers.

This type of writing went on for a while until I realized my focus had shifted to the opposite end of the spectrum. On the good, the kind, and the beautiful. What a difference that made in my life! I noticed the unpleasant encounters diminished, and the negative impact on me and my peace of mind had lessened. This shift reminded me of an old Native American story about a father who told his son of two wolves battling inside each of us. One is mean and vicious, the other gentle and kind. The son asked which one wins? The father answered, “The one that you feed.”

I found ways to focus on and feed the good, and crowd out the ugly by:

1. Practicing gratitude. It’s simple (and necessary) to take a few moments daily to contemplate all that makes us feel grateful. From the car on the road that kindly pauses to let us in, to the lovely sky above our heads. To enjoying life’s simplicities like food and shelter and dear friends.

2. Choosing wisely. Keep a turnstile in your head that picks what enters your mind, letting the positive in and booting the negative out. Refrain from criticism unless it’s to assess yourself on ways to improve. Leave others out of the equation unless your focus is on their good behavior. Top notch mental content is vital to the upkeep of our state of mind. It sets the tone for our moods, our thoughts, and how we get through our day. Don’t permit external factors to push you around. Choose to be happy and positive.

3. Did you know that germs aren’t the only thing that’re contagious? So is happiness.

I’ll elaborate on the power of happiness in next week’s episode. Until then, happy living and happy writing!

If you’re in the writing world, you’ve probably heard the term “voice.” What the heck is a voice in writing and how do you go about finding it? For a detailed play-by-play, check out this Writer’s Digest piece. For those who prefer to nutshell: The voice in a story is the unique (hopefully) personality that comes through in the way the narrator or a character talks or imparts information. For example, a shy voice may speak little and with difficulty. Perhaps with a stammer and a good amount of throat clearing. An exuberant voice may interrupt others, go off on a tangent, or break out into song. You get the picture.

When little ol’ me starts out writing, I’m so focused on getting the story out, the voices, or characters, in my book all sound the same. Even when I go back and revise, it takes a few revisions (okay maybe a whole lot more than a few) before I can get the personalities down. Followed by more revisions until my fingers are blistered and calloused. When stuck, it helps to ask characters questions. For example:

To main character, Corrie: Why are you doing what you shouldn’t be doing? Her reactions help me to better form her voice.

To Corrie’s best friend and possible love interest, Michael: Why are interrupting Corrie doing what she shouldn’t be doing? His reason for doing so forms his voice.

It also comes down to motivation. Once you understand your characters’ motivations (and history, of course – be sure you’ve got solid bios on all characters who appear on the pages more than once), it’s easier to pin down the particular voice that way. A telltale sign of a weak voice occurs when I start nodding off during my rewrites; I realize it’s because my voices are monotone. Time to insert some action, throw out the scene or give it a rest.

Why do I love the Stephanie Plum series by the wonderful Janet Evanovich? Because of the voices. They are entertaining, unpredictable and sometimes outrageous. Most importantly, they keep me wanting for more. The goal: to create such an amusing voice for each and every character that when the character is off the page, the reader keeps hoping they’ll return. A tall order, but pursuing a passion isn’t always easy. But it’s oh-so-gratifying when the voice is loud and clear.